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http://danwho.net/mp/index.php?id=snl_natalieportman
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Chris Parnell: We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman.
Natalie Portman: Hello.
Parnell: So, Natalie, what's the day in life of Natalie Portman like?
Portman: Do you really want to know?
Parnell: Yes, tell us.
Portman: I don't sleep mother fucker
off that yak and bourbon
doin' 120 gettin head while I'm swervin
Seth Meyers: Damn Natalie you a crazy chick
Portman: Yo shut the fuck up and suck my dick
I'm bustin dudes mouth like gushers mother fucker
roll up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker
Guys: What you want Natalie
Portman: to drink and fight
Guys: what you need Natalie
Portman: to fuck all night
Don't test when i'm crazy on that airplane glue
put my foot down your throat
till you shit in my shoe
leave you screaming
pay for my dry cleaning
fuck you man
It's my name that he's screamin'
Parnell: I'm sorry Natalie, but are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?
Portman: I never said I was a role model.
Parnell: What about the kids taht look up to you? Do you have a message for them?
Portman: All the kids lookin up to me can suck dick
It's portman mother fucker
drink till i'm sick
slit your throat
and poor nitrous down the hole
watch you laugh and cry
while I laugh you die
and all the Jews
you know I'm talkin to you
Guys: we love you natalie
Portman: I wanna fuck you too
P is for portman
P is for pound
i'll kill your fuckin dog for fun so don't push me
Parnell: Well, Natalie I'm surprised. All this from a Harvard graduate.
Portman: Well there's a lot you may not know about me.
Parnell: Really? Such as?
When I was in Harvard
I smoked weed every day
I cheated every test
and snorted all the yay
I gotta a def posse
and you gotta buncha dudes
I sit down on your face and take a shit
Andy Samberg: Natalie you are a bad @$$ b***h (h**l yah)
and I always pay for your dry cleanin
when my shit gets in your shoe
as for the drug use
well I can vouch for that
my dick is scared of you
girl
Parnell: Okie-doke. One final question, if you steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood, who would it--
(Portman throws chair at Parnell)
Portman: No more questions
What!
------------
i don't sleep motherf**ker off that yak and the bourbon
doin 120 getting head while i'm swervin
"damn Natalie, you a crazy chick"
yo shut the f**k up and suck my d**k
i'm bustin dudes mouths like gushers motherf**ker
roll up on NBC and smack the s**t out Jeff Tucker
"what you want Natalie?"
to drink and fight!
"what you need Natalie?"
to f**k all night!
don't test me when i'm crazy on that airplane glue
put my foot down your throat 'til your s**t's in my shoe
leave you screamin', pay for my dry cleanin'
f**k your man, it's my name that he's screamin
all the kids lookin up to me can s**k my d**k
it's Portman, motherf**ker, drink 'til i'm sick
slit your throat and pump nitrous down the hole
watch you laugh and cry - while i laugh, you die
and all the dudes, you know i'm talkin to you
"we love you Natalie"
i wanna f**k you too!
P! is for Portman
P! is for p**sy
i'll kill your f**kin dog for fun so don't push me
when i was in harvard, i smoked weed every day
i cheated every test and snorted all the yay
i got a def posse, you got a bunch of dudes
i'll sit right down on your face and take a s**t!
Natalie you are a badass bitch (hell yeah)
and i will pay for your dry cleaning when my s**t gets in your shoe (what)
as for the drug use, well i can vouch for that
my d**k is scared of you, girl
------------
bu da daha uzunu
Chris Parnell: We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman.
Natalie Portman: Hello.
Parnell: So, Natalie, what's the day in life of Natalie Portman like?
Portman: Do you really want to know?
Parnell: Please, tell us.
I don't sleep mother f***er
off that yak and that bourbon
doin' 120 gettin high while I'm swervin
Seth Meyers: D**n natalie you a crazy chick
Yo shut the f*** up and suck my d**k
I'm bustin dudes mouths like gushers mother f***er
roll up on NBC and smack the s**t out Jeff Zucker
Guys: What you want Natalie
Portman: to drink and fight!
Guys: what you need Natalie
Guys: to f*** all night!
Don't test me when i'm crazy off that airplane glue
put my foot down your throat
till you s**t in my shoe
leave you screaming
pay for my dry cleaning
f*** you man
It's my name that he's screamin'
Parnell: I'm sorry Natalie, but are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?
Portman: I never said I was a role model.
Parnell: What about the kids who look up to you? Do you have a message for them?
All the kids lookin up to me can suck my d**k
It's portman mother f***er
drink till i'm sick
slit your throat
and poor nitrous down the hole
watch you laugh and cry
while I laugh you die
and all the Jews
you know I'm talkin to you
Guys: we love you natalie
I wanna f*** you too!
P is for portman
P is for p***y
i'll kill your f**in dog for fun so don't push me
Parnell: Well, Natalie I'm surprised. All this from a Harvard graduate.
Portman: Well there's a lot you may not know about me.
Parnell: Really? Such as?
When I was in harvard
I smoked weed every day
I cheated every test
and snorted all the yay
I gotta def posse
and you gotta buncha dudes
I sit down on your face and take a s**t
Andy Samberg: Natalie you are a bad @$$ b***h (h**l yah)
and I always pay for your dry cleanin
when my s**t gets in your shoe
as for the drug use
well I can vouch for that
my d**k is scared of you
girl
Parnell: Okie-doke. Natalie, one final question,
if you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood, who would it--
(Portman breaks chair over Parnell's head)
Portman: No more questions
What!
------
bitanede bu
Chris Parnell: We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman.
Natalie Portman: Hello.
Parnell: So, Natalie, what's a day in the life of Natalie Portman like?
NP: Do you really want to know?
Parnell: Please, tell us.
I don't sleep mother fu__er
off that 'gnac and that bourbon
doin' 120 gettin high while I'm swervin
Seth Meyers: Damn, Natalie, you a crazy chick
Yo shut the fu__ up and suck my di__
I bust in dudes mouths like gushers motherfu__er
roll up on NBC and smack the sh__ out Jeff Zucker
Guys: What you want, Natalie?
NP: to drink and fight!
Guys: what you need, Natalie?
Guys: to fu__ all night!
Don't test me when I'm crazy off that airplane glue
put my foot down your throat
till you sh__ in my shoe
leave you screaming
pay for my dry cleaning
fu__ you man
It's my name that he's screamin'
Parnell: I'm sorry, Natalie, are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?
NP: I never said I was a role model.
Parnell: But what about the kids who look up to you? Do you have a message for them?
All the kids lookin up to me can suck my di__
It's Portman mother fu__er
drink till I'm sick
slit your throat
and pump nitrous down the hole
watch you laugh and cry
while I laugh you die
and all the Jews
you know I'm talkin to you
Guys: we love you Natalie!
I wanna fu__ you too!
P is for Portman
P is for pu__y
I'll kill your fu__in dog for fun so don't push me
Parnell: Wow. Natalie, I'm surprised. All this from a Harvard graduate.
NP: Well there's a lot you may not know about me.
Parnell: Really? Such as?
When I was in Harvard
I smoked weed every day
I cheated every test
and snorted all the yay
I gotta def posse
You got a buncha dudes
I sit right down on your face and take a sh__
Andy Samberg: Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch (hell yah)
and I always pay for your dry cleanin
when my sh__ gets in your shoe
as for the drug use
well I can't vouch for that
my di__ is scared of you
hellllp
Parnell: Okie-doke. Natalie, one final question, if you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood, who would it--
(Portman breaks chair over Parnell's head)
No more questions!
What!
WHAT
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